Sad, sad day...

Well, today was a very sad day... Sundays are usually very happy for me. Sundays are the days that I get to spend with my family. They are the days that we all get up and go to church. We send Jon-Mical to the nursery and then get to hear all the way home about how much fun he had and who he played with... Sundays are the days when we worship with our church family. We get to sing and pray and thank God for all that He has done in our lives and in our world. We also pray for God to be with us in the coming week. It is a good start to the day. We then usually come home and eat lunch and play outside all afternoon. Josh and I work on various yard/garage projects while Jon-Mical runs around getting the clean garage all messy again. It is a good day! But today... today was not good. Today I was able to spend most of the day with my family, but all I could think about was the fact that my maternity leave is now over. Tomorrow I not only have to leave one son, which has always been very, very hard, but now, for the first time, I have to leave TWO sons! I have to leave Jon-Mical sitting there in his PJ's, eating a Pop Tart and watching Dora. He will, no doubt, ask me to sit and watch it with him and, for the first time in 8 weeks, I will have to say no! I will have to leave my new, sweet, perfect Jakson. He will not ask me to stay or even acknowledge that I am gone, but I know that he will notice that his Mommy is not always there when he cries. He knows my smell and he will not have the comfort of knowing that his mommy is around for the whole day. I am very sick about this.


 The ONE good thing about all of this is that I have the most perfect babysitter, my wonderful mother-in-law coming to watch them every day for the next 5 weeks. I do know that even though I am not there to take care of the two kids that mean EVERYTHING to me, they are being taken care of by someone who honestly loves them almost as much as I do... that is very comforting. 


I do hope and PRAY that my boys will one day know how much I love them. I want them to know that I have to work. I do NOT choose to work. I would choose to be at home with them. I want them to know that I think of them EVERY SECOND while I am away. I love them with everything in me... 


Sigh... is summer break here yet?